10 Tips to an instantly slimmer you

 It happens all too often to all of us that our dream date, huge awards ceremony or bitchy cousin’s wedding sneaks up on us before we’ve had a chance to go on a diet/ hire a trainer/ run off to the fat farm for a few weeks. Cursing the universe is not going to help you lose a few in no time at all, but here are a few handy ways that you can at least fake it for your big night:

1) A browner you is a thinner you, so say hello to Self Tan! It instantly contours the body making you look not only slimmer but more toned too. It also won’t give you skin cancer, so that’s a plus. I recommend the St Tropez self tan range for home use, especially the moose because it’s idiot proof to apply.

2) If you are taking a group photo, try not to be the one on the end. You’ll immediately look like you’ve gained ten pounds.

3) Invest in a pair of skin coloured shoes. They will instantly make your legs look longer and thinner.

4) Take a bath in Epsom salts, it helps combat water retention, so you won’t be as bloated.

5) Every girl should own a good pair of Spanx – you know, those control top undergarments you would rather die than be seen in. Yes, those. Those wonderful, slimming, firming ‘you don’t have to worry about holding your stomach in all night’ Spanx! These are the real reason women use the line ‘Let me just go slip into something more comfortable’ once they’ve snagged that little piece of hotness.

6) Long necklaces and dangly earrings also create a slimmer look in a flash. The more vertical visual is what does the trick here.

7) Don’t wear clothes that are baggy, all that does is make you look even bigger and shapeless. DO NOT read this last statement as me giving the okay for lycra tightness everywhere. You know who you are! Well-fitted clothes will hide the bad parts and accentuate the good, making you look more svelte in a moment.

8) Denim is a divine creation that has made life so much easier and more comfortable. Better still, for an instant shape up, wear a darker shade of denim in a boot cut.

9) Just because you were a size four in High school, doesn’t mean you should still be trying to vacuum pack yourself into that size. The only effect this creates is the ‘muffin top’ that is about to explode. Rather wear clothes that fit, you’ll look a lot more like a size four this way. Remember, nobody is looking at the label inside your jeans.

10) Stand up straight! ‘Slouchy Joe’ is not winning any Fabulosity contests, think supermodel stance and you’re well on your way to looking like one. Good posture sheds pounds and adds confidence.

Now go and paint that town red you beautiful, sexy, slimmer looking version of your- already fabulous- self!

From City to Safari...

Last Thursday saw me putting my Louboutins in the cupboard and my Uggs in my suitcase for a trip to the game farm to get some way overdue R&R. 

There's nothing like swopping your blackberry for a few black rhino and your email account for a herd of elephant. Until of course your life is really put in danger by an elephant charging your vehicle. Bible! Thank god for wine and Savannah, nothing calms the nerves like a nip of alcohol after a near death experience. 

Yes, I am the silly blonde in the video that puts her head up just in time to be charged. For peeps that have yet to come to SA for safari, this may look like a chilled lil' Ellie jogging, but I can assure you that 'chilled' is exactly how they look just before they flip your vehicle and ram their tusks through the door and your leg.

The rest of the trip was filled with rare sightings, including 3 Black Rhino (endangered species), a pride of 21 lions, Wild dogs and their six young pups (also endangered species) and a very rare lion kill where two male lions killed a fully grown female rhino.

Good game viewing, great friends and loads of food & wine. No wonder we were all so depressed on the drive home.